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We find this is a quantum leap for most people! When you can see through the eyes of others, you become more likable, inspiring, and effective. Meet someone and instinctively see how you look to them. Speak with your team or friends and know what is resonating and what comes across as hot air. We have three ways for you to develop this skill.

1. Ask for Feedback
 Whenever we onboard a new client we do a 360. We ask probing questions of 6-8 people who know them well and feed back to the client how they are seen. You need to hire a coach to do this. Get into the practice of asking other people to tell you the gifts and the challenges they see in you. Tap here for more details on a super simple Feedback Practice.

2. Video Yourself
 
Record yourself on Zoom, or rehearse a presentation in the mirror. This trains your perception to take another point of view and see the way you must look to others. It can be confronting but it works. A lot of people have resistance to looking at themselves, but once you do develop the skill you begin to see everything more holistically. When you walk into a room, you no longer see everyone else as distant and separate. You have an instinct for what they are seeing through their eyes. From this instinct, we connect with the energy in the room. We find ways to tap their values and concerns to uplift or focus.

3. Contemplative practice
 
Head to your nearest coffee shop, or park bench to sit and people watch. Observe passersby long enough to see if you can feel what it’s like to be inside of them, to see the world through their eyes. One way to do this is to grab a piece of paper and write a note about each person you study. Be with them long enough to feel what it’s like to be them. Are they feeling pain or joy? Give them a score on a scale of 1 to 10, where for a 1 you perceive a lot of pain, and a 10 immense joy. The more you practice perceiving what the world might look like through another’s eyes, the clearer you see. Find out what it’s like to deepen and refine your perception.

I’m really interested in your experience with these three approaches. If you have tried any of these before, how have they worked for you and which did you prefer? Might there be other tips you’d like to share with me? Let me know what works for you.

David Lesser
Founder & CEO