Today I am sharing what I’ve learned about how I work with people, what I believe makes the real difference.

Passionate Interest
It all starts with a passionate interest in how people grow. When I meet someone new I want to know who they are. It’s become an instinct for me. I get a sense of their being and automatically become more fully engaged. The deeper we connect with how someone is growing the more potent the help they can get. If we pay attention, we will see how each person who comes has set him- or herself up to become more fully themselves: more confident, aware, powerful, or connected as human beings. I find that authentic nature longing to be more fully present.

Open the Emotional Channel 
Acknowledging feelings is vitally important. Although each in our own way, we are all empathic to what each other is feeling. At the very least, we can listen to how we are feeling when with each particular client, and use that empathy to tune into how they are growing. 

Tracking with My Own Experience
I coach by correlating what I think I see in somebody else with my own experience of how I grow and am growing. As soon as I attune to the pattern of a client’s feelings, that connects me with times in my life when I had similar feelings. I access the realizations, breakthroughs, and spurts of growth that have happened around this for me.

Self Observation
While learning models and techniques has its place, the most central ability for a coach–or leader of any kind–is to know oneself. I encourage people to create deliberate practices to notice one’s own patterns and one’s own growth. Times in the day when you review what is happening inside yourself. Relationships and groups where you can speak your experience to others and get to see what you might be missing on your own.  

At some level, I’m always noticing changes happening in me. So when I coach with someone else I instinctively connect their experience with how I have experienced a similar pattern in myself. My awareness of my own growth opens the way for a similar shift in the client.

I would love to hear what you have learned about paying attention to how what you see in others correlates with your own experience. Feel free to email me david@numina.team.

David Lesser
Founder & CEO