Feeling Overwhelmed? Simple Tricks to Reclaim Your Peace of Mind
Not too long ago, while hoping for a quiet weekend, I had a disturbing feeling of overwhelm. Something was off. Queasy pain in the tummy. My mind would not settle. At first glance, the doctor suspected a kidney stone and gave me all the relevant tests. Nothing. Within an hour, all the symptoms had evaporated. Official diagnosis: stress. Nothing more, thankfully. We had a burst pipe at home, and, pending remediation, were camping in the front room. I thought I was handling it great. Apparently, I still needed a wake-up call to manage my stress levels more mindfully.
I hear from clients who have also felt overwhelmed, and see how it’s affecting their leadership and well-being. Some describe this as more anxious than normal. Others felt “flat” or “down”, depleting the ability to be creative. Whether we are getting ramped up or slowed down, we can be skillful about navigating this together, without the need for our body to throw the emergency switch every few months.
Think of your capacity as a container with inflows and outflows. When we are overwhelmed, the container is too full. Either the inflow valve is too open, so we are accepting more into our container than is ours to handle. Or the outflow valve is too closed, so we fail to release concerns that can now be let go.
How do we regulate these inflows and outflows in a healthier way? Here are two tips for managing inflows, followed by two more for increasing outflows.
Prioritize What Is Uniquely Yours To Do
Almost everyone is saying “yes” to things that are not theirs to do. Our culture encourages people-pleasing and taboos a personal focus as selfish. However, undervaluing the power of our unique gift gets us involved in a lot that we are not great at. Result = mediocrity. Your world is denied the benefit of your best stuff. Back yourself. As you fully value the power of what is uniquely yours to do, you instinctively stop saying yes to everything else.
Say No Cleanly
I know people for whom “no” is the scariest word. I recommend the practice of using this little word at least once a day. Get acquainted with what is scary about it for you. Let that make you more skillful in its use. For example, if you are afraid of rejection, learn how to say “no” in a way that still invites connection. Successful leaders are often at their most graceful when using the “no” word. Those who are afraid of being judged as selfish or unkind often turn out, with a little practice, to be among the most skillful at this.
Communicate Your Vision
The outflow valve of the container is about delegating. It is less about telling people what to do–managing their methods–and more about agreeing on the desired outcome. The bigger the context you communicate, the more you can let go.
Efficient Visibility
Letting go does not mean losing touch. For example, a client was spearheading a new project where most of the work was beyond his skill set. He could have spent all his time in meetings, tracking the effort and progress of each participant. Instead, he attended the first 5 minutes and the last 5 minutes of the weekly stand-up. Another client had each of his team write him a personal note once a month, just to say how they were doing. Find a way to stay connected, to retain visibility on the key dynamics, without absorbing vast amounts of your capacity. If there is one skill that I see making the most impact, it is this.
The ability to be sensitive to your own “container” is vital. Let’s prevent overwhelm, one mini-practice at a time. Love to hear your experience of this.
Very best,
David Lesser