Today’s post may seem like a simple message but it never ceases to amaze me how often it turns out to be crucial for the most successful leaders.
How often have you seen a person in a position of power—a CEO, a team leader, even head of a household, or parent—carrying around that “head-bowed-heavy-burdened look”? Emanating martyrdom. As if being seen to be carrying the most weight is supposed to garner respect. I have spoken to enough direct reports about what they find inspiring or motivating about working for their boss. Instead of confidence, a heavy head sparks doubt.
Let Go of that Weight
Scratching the surface, I find many leaders find it hard to integrate the power that comes with their responsibility. Some feel guilty perhaps, then compensate by wanting people to see their suffering. Others overate their importance, fail to ask for help or to say no to what is not theirs to do, and pretty soon they have gotten overwhelmed. Others twist themselves into a pretzel trying to be what they think their people expect of them.
Our alpha instinct works in exactly the opposite way. The person having the most fun commands the most respect! The success of your team depends on you having a good time expressing yourself at your best.
An Environment Conducive to You
A colleague is pregnant of mine. Her first pregnancy was in the US. Now she lives in Spain. She shared how the Spanish culture celebrates her pregnancy, such that this time around it has been so much more relaxed, and joyful, while the first was a bit more stressful. Whether parent or president it’s our responsibility to be happy, not heavy.
We coach you to teach the people close to you what switches you on, and what activates your joy. Your team loves supporting what invigorates you and makes you feel alive. Teach your people also what shuts you down and how to prevent that. Teach them how to get back to clarity with you if something goes wrong.
It is perhaps the ultimate responsibility of a leader to be happy. The responsibility of anyone seeking to live their potential and beneficially be of influence. You won’t be able to fake it—not for long at least. What might it take for you to set up your life to grow that intrinsic sense of well-being inside of you and infect the people around you with the pure fun of being alive?
Best,
David Lesser