Emerging leaders often ask for our help preparing for an important meeting or interview. We all face situations where have a limited time to have the person opposite get a favorable impression of who we are. Here are three tips that may help.
1. Be the Most Generous
Confidence is perceived instinctually. It is felt in the body. For most around the chest, as a kind of warm, safe feeling that seems just to arise in the presence of someone we register as comfortable with who they are. It is less about impressing as the smartest or strongest person in the room. To show up confident, look for opportunities to give something away. For example, be the most gracious around the inevitable technical or logistical ripples early in the meeting. Offer some insight or material that you know the other will find valuable. Look for qualities the other expresses that you can appreciate. The most generous person in the room will instinctively be perceived as the most confident.
2. Paint The Biggest Picture
Every conversation has both content and context. We are perceived as confident, or not, according to the context we create more than the content. Imagine a board Interviewing several candidates. When assessing each person, they will instinctually—if not consciously—have a sense of the context each one brought: what felt possible when this person was in the room. When preparing for such sessions, take some time to think of the big picture in which this company or team operates. Then go bigger again. Big enough to be provocative while still feeling real. Tailor what you say to paint a picture that is just a little bigger than they may be expecting.
3. Express The Most Passion
Pretty much everyone has a little voice of self-doubt. Even those who come across as boastful, tend to underestimate the value of their efforts. You will be perceived as confident to the extent that, in your presence, others feel good about what they are doing. Acknowledge the importance, impact, and meaning you see in what they are doing. Why it makes a difference and how that lines up with what is most important for you.
Showing up confident is a function of how you activate the alpha instinct in the people around you. As you are felt to be generous, visionary, and passionate—whether you personally feel empty or full inside—you will be perceived as confident, and others will start to have increasing confidence in you.
I would love to hear how this works for you.
David Lesser
CEO