As a teenager, I was trained to treat the whole of humanity as if it were a person, a collective body. Through my family values, boarding school education, and a strong sense of destiny, I came to see the world as if it were in my care. Like a coaching client or friend in need. Taking that perspective, it is not hard to feel the pain in relationships, or the loneliness experienced one way or another by almost everyone.
In my last post, I describe this as our collective abandonment wound. There are so many ways the expression of this wound appears to be getting inflamed. The average time spent with friends has reduced by 70%. Medical studies link social isolation with early death. In Japan, Hikikomori –when people die and no one knows they’ve passed – is a national issue. In the USA we have seen a 15x growth in economic activity no longer involving human interaction.
For individuals, when our personal pain becomes more obvious, it is usually a sign of healing. We become aware of the wound, less pushed around by its triggers. We find ways to extract benefits. For example, as the feeling of emptiness is made more conscious, it is found to include a deep openness to connect. There is opportunity in this pain. We realize a deeper truth: even though there is the risk of hurt in opening a deep connection, it hurts even more to withhold yourself.
Here are three ways, I see this tragic epidemic of loneliness evolving into a more conscious collective experience for the body of humanity:
- Deepen Human Connection
If the thesis that the loneliness epidemic is going to grow more obvious, I imagine a human connection movement emerging, similar to “green.” It took 50-some years for the environmental catastrophe to get noticed and drive donations, brand loyalty, and investment in the way it does today. So I suspect it will take a while for a human connection movement to mature. What opportunities might that bring?
Something is changing with dating. In spite of a 10% reduction in the use of dating apps, people are getting creative with how they make friends. Two-thirds of Gen Z folks report making new friendships through Bumble For Friends. People will continue to look for new ways to meet. Solo travel is way up. Other innovations are coming, no doubt. I think it is likely that people will look for more natural ways to connect. And deeper. By prioritizing engagement, social media increased the scope of connection. The next breakthroughs will likely do more to support depth and mutual benefit. A platform where we share clips from our therapy sessions? Maybe not! But new ways to show ourselves more fully to each other, and to be seen for all of who we are.
- Evoke Emotional Response
Emotional intelligence has become a vital skill, for work and life. I am constantly impressed by the quick, agile minds of emerging leaders everywhere with both mental and emotional intelligence expanding rapidly. As machines become more adept at summarizing information, human-to-human communication becomes more about feeling and less about data. We are integrating emotional mastery into education, branding, and workplace dynamics, creating environments where people can express their feelings without fear of shame or judgment. The next breakthroughs may make communicating emotion more evocative, both human to human and human to machine. With AI agents getting more flirty, and the competitive advantage of those expressing and recognizing feelings becoming more apparent, there are discoveries to be made about how information can be stored and exchanged as emotion. How it is a basic human need for us to feel each other, and ways to do that are yet to be conceived.
- Create Authentic Community
I spent many of my formative years living in communities. Seen the worst (pretending to be something we were not) and the best (being fully ourselves), forever impressed at the powerful forces unleashed when a group of human beings come together to express or explore a shared love. This force will continue to drive opportunities.
Creating an authentic company culture, where people feel they belong, continues to be crucial in the search for talent. Innovations are coming–beyond superficial perks like ping pong tables, access to co-working spaces, and all-you-can-eat snacks. Authentic community is built on a shared passion for something greater than ourselves.
There is a shift in how we experience a shared love for something greater. With church membership in the US dropping from 73% to 47%, there is a blatant call for innovation. Yes, you can fill some pews by getting more extreme or political but, even then, forecasts suggest as many as 20% of the 350,000 houses of worship in the US are set to become vacant. People seem to want a practical, direct spirituality, practices fostering well-being, expanded awareness, and… of course… community that empowers individual expression. Mutual empowerment forums, such as the Young Presidents Organization which has grown 50% in the last few years to 36,000 members, are meeting some needs. A gaping opportunity remains.
Curious to hear your insights. What is your take on how to turn the loss of connection into shared love? How do you see what is happening in today’s evolving world?
All the best,
David Lesser